In the beginning of our infertility struggle, I was an open book. I told anyone and everyone what we were going through. Why? I guess because I was naive enough to think that it would be a short struggle, and we would have our perfect little family on the first try. In the years that followed, I began building walls and shutting people out from what was going on. It wasn’t that I didn’t want people to know, it was that every time I “failed” it got harder and more debilitating to face the questions when I didn’t really have any answers. With each passing “sorry it didn’t work” phone call I received, the feelings of embarrassment and disappointment mounted. I mean, women have babies. That’s what they DO! There were VERY few people who knew what we were going through, and even fewer who REALLY knew.
Lucky for us, our blessings finally came in the form of Bexleigh and Braxton!! I have never felt more grateful or more humbled than the day I first held them. Most people don’t know, but the first 14 weeks of the pregnancy were rough. With every doctor appt, there seemed to be an issue. For weeks we were told not to tell people we were pregnant, and that if we DID choose to talk about it, we should not announce we were having twins. Ugh! Obviously, everything turned out perfect!
I had always known that once we announced the pregnancy I would put out a video of what we had gone through to get there. (Video- Our Journey to You) What I didn’t know was that it would leave me flooded with calls/texts/emails from people who had been through (or were going through) some sort of infertility struggle of their own. I realized that I had a wealth of knowledge to share, especially since I had tracked everything. Every shot, every medication dosage, every level of every blood test. EVERYTHING. I became an “open book” again, and nothing has ever been off limits since.
I say all of this for one reason…we still have an “ice baby” waiting for us in Denver, and we’re ready to go get him/her! I’ve thought long and hard about sharing this with everyone because once it’s “out there” it can’t be taken back. The thing is, we are so ridiculously blessed with what we have been given that I just don’t feel the pressure like I did before. If letting people walk the path with us helps someone who’s going through it, or helps others be more supportive of it, then it’s worth it.
So here goes!!! I have just landed in Denver to update my required testing for transfer. If everything looks good we plan to transfer our final embryo around the end of August/beginning of September! Wish us luck!!!
P.S. – if you have questions about infertility PLEASE do NOT hesitate to call/email/FBook me!!!
Kara Edwards
info@starfishinfertilityfoundation.org
615-500-4845
Face Book Link -OR- my S.I.F FB Page
